Home > Resumes > A Big LinkedIn No-No…

A Big LinkedIn No-No…

This is going to be a rather short post, a rant of sorts about something I’ve noticed on LinkedIn that is slightly disturbing and what I would consider almost unethical.

In the past week I have had several people I do not know try to connect with me on LinkedIn and on the invitation they put an untrue connection. Meaning, they said we worked together at ABC company and I never worked there or we’re affiliated through XYZ organization and I’ve never even heard of the organization. People, it is NOT OK to lie about how you know someone just to gain a connection on LinkedIn. First, it is going to put a terrible taste in my mouth for that person (if you’re lying already then what assumption is that going to lead me to?) Secondly, I am going to promptly delete your request. Be honest about why you want to connect, don’t just arbitrarily try to connect with anyone. Strategically connect and network with those that will help you in your pursuits (whatever those may be). Job search or otherwise – as a former hiring manager I would certainly not even consider a candidate that came to me lying from the start.

I know that there are misunderstandings. Perhaps, you think this person is someone else – common mistakes, but that is why you should always add a note to your request to connect. Explain WHY you want to connect with the person so they have a better idea of who you are and how it is beneficial for them to connect with you.

Which leads me to my next point. It is my opinion that a connection should NOT be all about what YOU can get from the person you are requesting to connect to. It should also be about what you can give or provide the person you are connecting to. Contrary to popular belief this social networking shouldn’t be all about ME, ME, ME! It should be mutually beneficial – what can you bring to the table for the other person? Approach and request connections based on this and you will be much more successful.

Here is another article on LinkedIn Invitation Etiquette.

For a free resume analysis send your resume via email to info@greatresumesfast.com.

Jessica Holbrook is an expert resume writer, career and personal branding strategist, author, and presenter. She has written more than 100 articles that are featured on some of the best career advice Web sites today. In addition, her writing has been included in Launch pad, a career search strategy guide featuring exclusive information by the top career experts in the industry.

As CEO of Great Resumes Fast, Jessica enjoys collaborating with forward-thinking professionals and executives, identifying their personal brand and value proposition and leveraging their unique talent, passion, and vision to position them as a leader in their industry. Her passion is helping professionals and executives uncover what makes them stand out in the crowd.

Advertisements
Categories: Resumes
  1. Priyanka
    November 19, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    Thanks Jessica for this mail….

  2. November 19, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    Dear Jessica:
    Well said. I was among the presenters last night at a networking events in North Brunswick, NJ & I did a very brief piece on LinkedIn. I volunteer as a career counselor & one of the greatest challenges I’m finding is that people need to first determine how they can help someone else before they ask for a favor.

    Keep up the great work,
    Michael

  3. Antonio Marques
    November 19, 2009 at 5:38 pm

    Here here, Jessica, way to go. I 100% agree with your view and your exasperation towards those who try to take advantage of connections in a “devious” way. It is important to defend ethics at all times and maintain the credibility of Linkedin and other social networks. Thanks also for the advises.

  4. Sean Catherall
    November 19, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    Lying about connections is not only stupid and unethical, but it is completely unnecessary. One can always ask for an introduction through a contact that knows both parties. I have used that feature and it worked very well.

  5. November 19, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    All good points although I think you sound a little more angry than helpful. (People may not be smart about there linkedin request but they may want to reach out; feel flattered!)

  6. Brenda Whitesides
    November 19, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    Hi Jessica,

    I enjoyed your two articles on LinkedIn. Great comments and suggestions.

    I teach classes on LinkedIn —-many aspects of this tool. My most popular class is “How to Get a Job Using LinkedIn”. Currently, I am teaching in a classroom. I am working on plans to make this a webinar. I welcome any thoughts, suggestions or ideas that you might have.

    Brenda Whitesides ms_brenda_whitesides@yahoo.com

  7. Tim
    November 19, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    I used to like to include the reason why the connection would benefit both of us, how I knew the person, etc. However, a recent LinkedIn change limits Invitation emails to 200 characters which isn’t enough space. Maybe we can get LinkedIn to relax the character count a little.

  8. autonomous
    November 19, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    its well said by Jessica madam…
    appreciate for sharing it even via post @linkedin.com
    thanks…………. 😉

  9. November 19, 2009 at 8:27 pm

    Jessica,

    Well said! I hate when people lie about how they “know” me. If a person wants to connect with someone he or she doesn’t know, they really should make sure the pending relationship will be mutually beneficial. I have taught several LinkedIn Seminars to people in transition and that issue has always come up.

    Sheryl

  10. Sophie
    November 19, 2009 at 8:50 pm

    Hi Jessica,

    I agree with you. It is not good to lie on how you know someone.
    I tried recently contacting a recruiter who interviewed me and had to insert their email address just so I could mail them in linkedin.
    That was last week…any reason you could think why I have had no response….

  11. Joe Ramondini
    November 19, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    Jessica,
    You make some great points here. Sometimes people forget that networking is a two-way street. Usually in life whatever you send out you get back.

  12. Mark
    November 19, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    You can do more than delete the connection request: you can report them. Members who repeatedly send incorrect or unsolicited requests will (apparently) have their accounts suspended.

  13. Luc
    November 19, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    Hi Jessica,
    Thanks for the article.
    Lying never helps just be yourself. that should be more than enough

  14. Tom Econom
    November 19, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    Jessica,

    A short little rant? I cannot wait to ead a real rant of yours. Good subject and right on thoughts.

  15. November 19, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    So it is a bit confusing the way Linkedin “asks” how you know this person. The generated list is taken from my resume and the person may not have worked with me, but this is how I know them. I have always assumed that it is OK to reach out to someone whom you have met while you worked in a place, but you are saying it must be more of a direct association.

  16. November 19, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    you are absolutely right Jessica 🙂

    cheers

    Balaji Dhananjayan

  17. November 19, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    Thank you for this writeup.

    Too many people treat these networking site like their own personal spam factories. It really devalues the sincere networkers efforts.

  18. November 19, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    Great job, Jessica! This should be a “no-brainer”, but I know some people have different motives. It is just best to delete the request, or IDK them. I know first hand for myself, being unemployed for 17 months, that the only frustrating thing about sending out invites to former colleagues or Group members, that we are limited greatly about the number of characters we can type in to give our potential connection a better idea of who I am, what is my intent of the connect, and how I can return the favor, or provide a benefit for them to connect with me. Our invitations should not be so limited like Twitter, where it is hard to get your message across in 1 or 2 short sentences. Let me know what you think, or it there is a by-pass or solution for this problem. Take care everybody and I hope you all have a GREAT upcoming weekend 🙂

    • November 19, 2009 at 9:51 pm

      Thank you all for the supportive and encouraging comments. I am glad to see that I’m not the only one frustrated with falsified invitations.

      Thank you!
      Jessica Holbrook
      Great Resumes Fast
      http://www.greatresumesfast.com

      • Niels
        November 19, 2009 at 10:45 pm

        All frustration is based on expectation…
        Nothing is as bad or a good as it seems…
        What did my Sensei know giving me my Black Belt…

        I here ya but I am just over the whole almost thing…. in life.. People need to make a real stand…
        Good info, but take a stand, don’t be almost honest… 😉
        Niels

  19. Glen Loock
    November 19, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    Great post, however, there is something you can do. Click the “I don’t know this user” button. Then the perpetrator gets dinged by LinkedIn as a spammer, get enough dings (I think it is five in a given period) their account gets suspended. Do that often enough and they are off LinkedIn altogether.

  20. Liz Lowry
    November 19, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    I think there are two sides to this coin. I send people requests all of the time that I don’t know telling them they are a great fit for a job opening I have and asking if they are interested in hearing more about it. I have to get pretty creative in those 200 characters:-) I read of someone up there that was out of work for 18 months. I would hate for someone to miss out on a great opportunity because I wasn’t following proper Linkedin etiquette.

    I like the suggestion of Linkedin lightening up on the character restriction. I’d be nice if we could send a url as well!

  21. November 19, 2009 at 10:35 pm

    Hy Jessica: Well, you made a point but also positioned yourself well for anyone looking for a good resume. So, your post was 2 fold. Great Marketing. Thank you.
    And ,of course, it can be frustrating for those of us who are striving for excellence in Service to and with Others.
    However,speaking for myself and Lifes’ Experiences…the only Person I can genuinely be Intent with Integrity, is myself.
    Rules and Regulations are only read by those of us who are already Honest and don’t need them !.
    I don’t see human solutions to human problems. Seriously.Have the “newspapers” gotten thinner with “acts of honesty and kindness”? I work and share with people outside of “my web-sites” and find , unless someone is ready to see a clearer perspective? No change Human solutions don’t solve human problems. Folks have to step up higher from within themselves or they just become more devious ,if they don’t want to be honest in the first place!
    Honesty isn’t “taught”. It’s a Gift that is deep down inside Everyone, aware or not,that , once recognized has to be valued and nurtured, for as we know, it is it’s own Reward.
    Won’t expand on this here, but change for anyone, I believe, starts from within, not from without.
    So, anyone who is obviously Intentionally deceptive?…just writes their own script of failure. And until they “get” it, will just continue somewhere else !. Until they see their own Mirror!
    The Best, kind regards, Lucill in Tucson, AZ

  22. November 19, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    Jessica, I agree and disagree with your perspective. I agree in the misrepresentaton part and try to draw the nearest relationship that I can with the person I am contacting. The disagree part is that I may not have their email address and if I am making a ‘friend’ connection it is easier to put my current title and say we have done business together than to look up or not have their email address. hope this perspective makes sense, and I am not missing out on something, so your article is a bit of a rant as you admitted.
    All the best,
    Mark

  23. Niels
    November 19, 2009 at 10:42 pm

    Good promoting of yourself… Ride into town on a white Horse… We are all selling something…
    “almost unethical”…Hmmm ike almost being pregnant…
    Way to much political correct mumbo jumbo for me…
    Speaking of tho..and with a mantra of “GLASS HOUSES” just for fun I had a resume critiqued by a self appointed “expert” who said for a price they could “fix the errors”… then for fun a month later I took the same resume to them with a different name and wouldn’t you know it, for a price they could fix the errors!

    Great “expert” advise…

    • Another Resume Writer
      November 20, 2009 at 10:52 pm

      @ Niels –

      Was it the Ladders? Resume Edge? Resumes.com? Career Perfect? Or was it a solo writer like Jessica? You see, if you turned your resume into a resume factory for advice, you’re going to get the factory response. These places have $8M advertising budgets so of course they don’t care about you. They have to make sales…period.

      And what’s with the attitude anyway? LinkedIn is all ABOUT promoting yourself. LOL. Anyone who says it’s for “networking” is full of crap. Everyone on there is selling something — me, other resume writers, Jessica, Jason Alba, recruiters, jobseekers…EVERYONE.

  24. Erin
    November 19, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    Really enjoyed your article Jessica and that you have one on Invitation Etiquette. It was also good to see the number of responses who support your position. It is very refreshing to see it plainly stated that even in social networking that it is about mutual benefit with no hidden agendas. This is key to my approach to any kind of relating with others. Thanks very much for writing up an article and expressing yourself so clearly.

  25. Charlie
    November 19, 2009 at 10:56 pm

    Jessica, I’ve had emails that look exactly like yours.. they end with the offer of something free for me (yes, resume analysis was the first one I bit on) and in the end, I had to block emails from the analyzer, because yes, they did the analysis and then started bombarding me with trying to sell me stuff.

    Anyway, your point I support wholeheartedly… if your analysis comes free with no strings attached (or dunning to make a sale), then I support that also..

  26. Ray
    November 19, 2009 at 11:02 pm

    Linkedin has experienced a large upswing in new memberships this year. Many new members are job seekers unfamiliar with the basics of online etiquette.

    Experienced users can help onboard mew members by pointing them to the “Learning Center” link at the bottom of your Linkedin page.

  27. Michelle Sumeray
    November 19, 2009 at 11:14 pm

    I agree with your comments Jessica but also with some of the responses about being limited by the message you are able to construct on your initial LinkedIn invitation. This does make it very hard to send a meaningful message. Also, how do you respond appropriately about your connection to someone when they are, for example, a recruiter and you didn’t exactly work ‘with’ them (at a company) but you have an ongoing relationship with them over several years (and possibly several jobs)? I would welcome some advice.

  28. Dale Coward
    November 20, 2009 at 12:22 am

    Jessica,
    I support your comments. Where have I heard that it is all about ME, ME, ME before? – usually in discussions about GenX and GenY people (I also have a couple of them as offspring). It would be interesting to know if the people who usually perpetrate this crime fall into that category ??

  29. deodiaus
    November 20, 2009 at 12:26 am

    While as I agree that asking someone to join under the pretext of knowing him is bad, I will tell you something even worse.
    A lot of head hunters call me asking me for my references. Most do not use these references as a way of verifying my eligibility for a position, but rather as a pretext to call a hiring manager or someone within a company. At first, I did not mind, thinking that I was going to get something out of the deal (extra attention). Unfortunately, most do not keep you in mind. Call me stupid, but I fell for this trick on several occasions. The worst ones were who called you about a job, asked for references, and a couple of years later pulled this stunt again.
    The worst that can happen is that you annoy your boss. While as he might have been happy to give you a reference, after a while he gets worn down. The review might not be as glowing as he is eager to hang up the phone and get back to work. Other times, he might bring up something that he had not thought of on the first call.
    The other annoying thing I hear lately is with Indian recruiters. One guy calls me and tell you that he name is “Mike”. Ok, I guess one might have officially changed his name to a Christian one, but most likely, his name is Kumar or Satish. I guess he doesn’t think I have the brains to figure that out. I’d rather deal with you and call you Kumar, than carry on a silly ass game. If I don’t like Indians, then it is not worth it to both parties to carry on a discussion. But by lying, you really create an air of distrust.
    I haven’t told this to the recruiter because I don’t want to risk the 1% who might have changed their names legally, but come on, we are not a bunch of children here.

  30. Joe Phan
    November 20, 2009 at 2:11 am

    Jessica,
    Thank you for this article. It’s a great help to the rest of us and also to LinkedIn “environment”. Good warnings for the liars.
    Regards
    Joe

  31. M L Castellanos
    November 20, 2009 at 2:53 am

    I see and agree with your point. However, sometimes, you have no alternative but to use this method to contact someone if you don’t know them. In my case, I start off with the same sentence: “Please accept my liberty of directly contacting you” and then very succinctly explaining my reason. The individual realizes my intent is not to “link” but to get their attention for one reason or another. As far as I recall, it’s always been for mutually beneficial reasons and luckily, I have been not “reported” so far. I guess it’s my approach.

    That said, if someone wishes to contact me using the LinkedIn pre-printed verbiage without even taking the time to write out a reason, I just delete and don’t reply.

    • Esther
      January 21, 2010 at 12:31 am

      More great advice!

  32. Mike Padjen
    November 20, 2009 at 3:31 am

    Jessica, Great Comments! Next time please don’t try to promote yourself at the end. It diminishes your message. If you are genuine in your help, things will come to you. Thanks for your wisdom.

    Mike

  33. November 20, 2009 at 3:45 am

    Jessica,
    thank you for this, i simply try to achive more and more link, i thought it is more like facebook, sorry. thank you again.

  34. Melinda
    November 20, 2009 at 4:06 am

    Hi Jessica,

    It’s never ok to lie about an association, or anything, for that matter. However, some help out others without an expectation of receiving something in return. I believe that your returns will come in time… whether or not from the person you assisted.

    Studies have been done, proving that both infants and chimpanzees possess this altruism, rooting back 6 million years from a shared ancestor. As we grow, this altruism diminishes. Kids and adults expect something in return.

    Just wanted to share an alternative perspective. It’s still not ok to lie!

  35. Michael Yates
    November 20, 2009 at 10:23 am

    Spot on, Jessica. You’ve hit a very crucial point with this “rant”.
    To be effective, any LinkeIn connections must be Strategic – leading to mutual benefit, a classical win-win situation; Targeted – only people who are relevant; and the only way to successfully achieve this is through Honesty.
    To the less honest amongst us you will ALWAYS be found out – someone will know a detail that will trip you up.

    Which brings me to another related question: How do people feel about network visibility?
    I know a good number of people who deliberately avoid LinkeIn because they are concerned about the accessibility of their competitive intelligence and as a result are deliberately not connected by choice.
    Are there any ways to overcome this and consequently provide a wider field for the genuine players?

  36. Lattee Williams
    November 20, 2009 at 1:09 pm

    Jessica,

    Extremely well thought out and expressed RANTS, It could not be better said. It’s against the LinkedIn ethos and will definetly get you nowhere

  37. John Varela
    November 20, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Well said. Wish more people viewed things the same way. Keep it up.

  38. Thomas Bertin
    November 20, 2009 at 2:11 pm

    Jessica –

    This was well put – there’s nothing worse than unsolicited communication or requests. Although I just began using LinkedIn in early June after being downsized, I too am leary of connecting with people that I do not have anything in common with; i.e., we’ve worked together, we met briefly at a networking event, etc.

    Having gone through the lay-off/career search process three other times since the year 2000, I truly understand the pain that today’s new job seekers are going through, but the methods of desperation that some go through is pathetic. I cannot agree with you more about being honest about the underlying reason for wanting to connect with someone. If one’s message is sincere, the recipient of the invitation is generally more likely to accept.

    I think that if LinkedIn allowed for more characters in the verbage of the invitation request, people would be less inclined to use the methods you’ve described. They would have more space in which to voice their reasons for connecting. Regardless, even in a quick sentence, one can clarify their association to another party.

    Thank you for sharing your comments!

  39. November 20, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    Appreciated your post, thanks for sharing. Michelle and Michael brought up two valid points; the first being limited text to explain the context of the invitation and, the second: there are limited options in choosing a “relationship” without having to supply an email address. When I am Recruiting talent, I always choose “we’ve done business together” and then posed the question if they are open to hearing of opportunities. Do you have suggestions as to how to more effectively use my options in order to “truthfully” divulge the nature of our relationship? Isn’t the point of LinkedIn to benefit from what others may have to offer? In this economy it never hurts to have a Headhunter in your back pocket. You just never know! Your comments are appreciated, as there is no “evil intent” in my reaching out in this manner. I look forward to your thoughts 🙂

    Best,
    @FisherSearchGroup

    • November 22, 2009 at 3:35 am

      Jessica, good post.

      I generally agree with your premise. I dislike invites that are generic, or that misrepresent the relationship. I’ll accept the “I don’t know” option for new connections, or if they come via a group association (as I am the member of many networking groups on LinkedIn).

      The 200 character limit is annoying, but it is possible to still provide a good introduction with this limit, and it helps avoid misunderstanding.

  40. Stevev Hutton
    November 20, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    Good post. Thanks for the info. This should be required reading for everyone on LinkedIn.

  41. Alan Greene
    November 20, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    These are all valid points, Jessica, and I am pretty much in agreement. You may, however, be a victim of your own success. It is feasible that someone wishes to connect with you due to the fact that you have come across as knowledgable in the field, and they believe that a connection could be beneficial. While you will undoubtedly run into some shady characters, not everyone is such, amd in all fairness, LinkedIn has limitations as to how to approach folks that one really does not know.

  42. MG
    November 20, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    Great post.

    I cannot believe they did that. Horrible.

    MG

  43. Valentino Martinez
    November 20, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    Jessica,

    You’re correct. People should not mislead a potential connection on LinkedIn to gain their attention. However, I feel LinkedIn should allow all LinkedInians the ability to invite a connection with the full knowledge that they don’t know you–without getting dinged. Getting such an invitation can then be viewed simply for what it is–an invitation to connect on LinkedIn. This would eliminate the need to ding someone simply because they are unknown. Lying to make a connection can be detected and reported and would earn a well deserved suspension.

    Now, if I find a person on LinkedIn intriguing as a potential contact on LinkedIn, I’ll need to know their email address to contact them. This is blocking a potential mutual benefit in my view and defeats the concept of linking-up on a site that supposed promotes linking-up.

    Jessica, besides the deception concern isn’t your rant about “Me, Me, Me…?” Isn’t the purpose of LinkedIn about connecting with people you don’t know, but would like to know–particularly if there is a mutual benefit. Kudos to you for discussing a known pet peeve on LinkedIn to stir-up the stir-upables AND to then quickly give a SHOUT OUT about your resume writing services. There is a lesson here about creatively positioning ME, ME, ME and you can’t be faulted for being Me oriented, like the rest of us–like it or not.

    If your radar detects a BS connection DELETE IT…move on. By the way, don’t you get any BS invites that seem intriguing when you view a person’s profile? Can you get over yourself (yourselves) for a moment when you get that invite from a unknown. It might be me, and I do offer mutual benefits as a recruiter.

    On that note, I am one of the most accomplished recruiters on the planet–so say I. Yet, I’m not perfect because I often try to connect with people I don’t know on LinkedIn (without deception regarding my intent) because LinkedIn is generous enough to put very interesting people out there on Front Street for all to see, but to not to directly contact…if’n I don’t already personally know them, or know them through another contact on LinkedIn.

    For those who now get dinged on LinkedIn, not for deception but because you fall into the “I don’t know this person” trap–I recommend reading Catch-22, by Joseph Heller. Heller had a knack of painting a verbal picture “describing a paradox in rules, regulations, procedures, or situations in which one has knowledge of being or becoming a victim but has no control over it occurring.” (Wikipedia)

    Warmest regards to my fellow LinkedInians…

    Tino
    A recruiter in your network
    and in your future…

  44. Stephen DuFaux
    November 20, 2009 at 11:51 pm

    Jessica,
    Touché, Well said… I believe that you have stumbled upon a few, or perhaps a number of “newbie’s” who still haven’t grasped onto the appropriate protocol and or utilization of this site. Not to mention the benefits which could be derived from effective connection requests; and what they in turn should be offering as benefits to those newly established connections. Its not the “Number of contacts” one has- it’s the caliber and quality!

    Which reminds me…. “Want to connect – we used to work together at …” sorry you’ll have to forgive me- I couldn’t resist! LOL

    Your posting/ranting, is well delivered and apropos!

    I look forward to future contributions.
    Stephen DuFaux
    Founder
    National Staffing & Recruiting Industry Association-

  45. Rita Thompson Whaley
    November 21, 2009 at 12:15 am

    I think if you tell the person how you know them (from previous employment or friends/business associates) you should not IDK them. If they get too mny IDKs it is detremental to them. My experience has been to reply to their request nd ask them to clarify better how we know each other or WHY they want to connect. If they are sincere, they will tell you why they want to connect and how they “know” you.

  46. November 21, 2009 at 6:10 am

    OK, no one’s going to like what I have to say but here it is. First, everyone should know better than to lie and yet, lying has pervaded the world. Since being laid off in April, 2008; I have been lied to by my friends, acquaintances, family and future employers. Everyone wants me to think that my life is just fine, that I should be thrilled to not have to go to work. NO ONE really understands what it is like to have no job to go to and NO expectation of getting one!!!

    Then I go to a network organization and the people there are very nice and friendly. I feel warm and welcome. However, not being the most computer savvy person and certainly not among the well-educated of the bunch, I soon find myself feeling absolutely lost among these wonderful people. It wasn’t their fault, I just knew that we were on different levels and I didn’t belong there. This saddened me. I was jobless and the only thing that separated me from these lovely people was a college degree. I am not a stupid person; I simply chose to have a family instead of a career. For this, I am being persecuted by people like you with your rules to shut me out and people who hire who want someone with a degree instead of looking at the fact that I have years of experience and can key 11000 KPH (in case you don’t know that means that I can type 11000 strokes per hour numerically which is much faster than the average which I believe is around 8000).

    Forgive me for my ranting but I just needed to let some of my anger go. After so many months of having people giving me kind, unforgiving looks that let me know that there’s no way they’re going to call as they say, “We have so many candidates to look at but we’ll call you sometime next week to let you know how it went.” And I go to my car, take a deep breath and think to myself; “I’m sure you will”
    knowing in my heart that they won’t and they never do.

    So next time someone uses you for an unsolicited reference; take a deep breath and remember how tough it is to be out here with no job and no possibility of one for months and months. Maybe you might think a little more kindly of those of us who are desperate for help; anywhere we can find it; despite all the rules.

    Thanks for giving me space to rant.

    Sincerely,

    one of the desperate

    • M L Castellanos
      November 21, 2009 at 4:20 pm

      Hello Barb Rush,

      A bit off original topic but… ranting is good! And, it causes no bodily harm!!! Many, many, many, many, many (etc.) people ARE in the same boat as you – and we’re not talking Titanic. But, you must keep plugging away because you have not other choice other than to commit suicide. Chances are, you don’t want to do that because, 1. It can mess up your carpet. 2. It will severely diminish your chances of finding your happy job. 3. You will make it too difficult for the credit collectors to get a hold of you and most importantly, 4. You won’t be able to do what these non-college degree holders below have done and thumb their noses at the establishment. Take a close look. I was surprised and impressed when I made this list.

      Roman Abramovich (richest man in Russia at $18.2 billion); Sheldon Adelson-real estate and casino owner, third richest person in the United States according to Forbes for both 2007 and 2008; Paul Allen. Microsoft; Walter Anderson, White Castle Burgers; Mary Kay Ash, The founder of Mary Kay Inc. started a cosmetics business; Steven Ballmer, Microsoft; William Boeing, Boeing Aircraft.; Milton Bradley, Games; Richard Branson, owner of the Virgin brand and its 360 companies; Cruz Bustamante. Former Lt Governor of California; Asa Candler. Purchased Coca-Cola for $2300 from the inventor; James Cayne. ex-CEO, Bear Stearns; Coco Chanel, Perfumes; Grover Cleveland. U.S. President; Ben Cohen, Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream; Simon Cowell, television producer and judge for American Idol; Joshua Lionel Cowen – Lionel trains; Michael Dell’ Dell PC’s; Barry Diller. Fox Broadcasting Company, Expedia, and CEO of IAC/InterActiveCorp which includes Home Shopping Network and Ticketmaster; Walt Disney; Larry Ellison, founder of Oracle; William Faulkner, writer and novelist; Debbi Fields, Mrs. Fields Chocolate Cookies; Millard Fillmore, U.S. President; David Filo, Yahoo co-founder; Henry Ford, Ford Motor Company; Bill Gates, Microsoft Corporation; David Geffen. Co-founder of Dreamworks, SKG; Richard Grasso, ex-CEO of The New York Stock Exchange; Ruth Handler. Mattel, Barbie Doll; William Hanna of the cartoon producers Hanna-Barbera; Ernest Hemingway. Writer and novelist; Milton Hershey, Hershey Candies; H Wayne Huizenga, Waste Management, Blockbuster Video, Miami Dolphins Sports Team owner; Andrew Jackson. U.S. President; Peter Jennings, America/Canadian TV Anchor; Andrew Johnson. U.S. President; Steve Jobs, Apple, iPod, iTunes, iPhone and co-founder of Pixar; John H Johnson. Ebony, Jet Magazine; Edward Jones. Dow Jones Industrial Average; Ka-shing Li. (net worth of nearly $12 billion) Considered one of the most powerful figures in Asia; Edwin H. Land, Polaroid Company; Rush Limbaugh, Talk Show host; Abraham Lincoln, U.S. President; Tom Monaghan, Domino’s Pizza; James Monroe, U.S. President; Amancio Ortega,Spain’s richest man at $14.8 billion; Rachael Ray, no formal training in culinary arts; Winthrop Rockefeller, Banking; Karl Rove, White House Senior Advisor; Molly Sims, Victoria Secret; Jack Taylor, Enterprise Rent-A-Car; Zachary Taylor, U.S. President; Leo Tolstoy, Writer and novelist, Author of War & Peace; Harry Truman, U.S. President; Ted Turner, CNN; Mark Twain. Writer, novelist and humorist; Donald John Tyson, Tyson Foods; Martin Van Buren, U.S. President; Gore Vidal. Writer. Writer and novelist; Ty Warner, sole owner, CEO, and Chairman of Ty, Inc.; Theodore Waitt, Gateway Computers; George Washington, First U.S. President; Andrew Lloyd Webber, Composer; Jann Wenner, Rolling Stone Magazine; Frank Lloyd Wright, the most influential architect of the twentieth century; George Westinghouse, Westinghouse Electric Company; Steve Wozniak, Co-founder of Apple Computers; Hiroshi Yamauchi, Nintendo Corporation; Jerry Yang, Yahoo co-founder.

    • melissa
      November 24, 2009 at 6:52 pm

      I just wanted to let you know that not everyone has to have a college degree to make it and you have skills that are very valuable. Maybe you are carrying a chip on your shoulder or you are the one who feels less than and that is showing?? My mother didn’t even graduate from high school and she was very successful. My father didn’t go to college and he is a self made millionaire. I have a college degree and have yet to measure up to either of them, probably because of choices I made. Don’t give up, keep working towards your goals. Try going to work for a small company. They seem to value experience much more than the corp world.

  47. Pedro
    November 22, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    I like and agree with Niels’ analysis of the situation… 😉

  48. Norman Carr
    November 23, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    The other thing is for people not to perpetuate or make the situation worse by accepting the connection if the connection is untrue. I also think it is not a good idea to recommend others just because they recommended you. People should be recommended on their own merit.

  49. November 27, 2009 at 12:41 am

    I really enjoyed reading this post, keep up making such exciting posts.

  50. Carol Ferguson
    December 9, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    I agree one should not lie intentionally. However, I have meet so many people, having more than one conversation, and they accept the fact-they know me! Well, it’s not their fault. I forgot about them and sometimes years have pasted. I wonder should their be a criteria-time line for folks stating-“yes I know you”? I guess I just except grown folks to be honest…and why not be honest.

  51. December 25, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    Lot’s of great commentary from everyone. Jessica brings up a great discussion point. My view is that it in the end people are truly just trying to make connections to pursue their objectives. Everyone is selling, marketing or promoting something all the time whether they realize it or not. If in fact one were able to be face to face with one another it would in fact be easier to read or determine their true intentions by their tone, emotion and or body language. I prefer to give people the benefit of doubt and simply reply that I don’t know them rather than get emotionally charged. I like to follow up all my correspondence with a video message to build the rapport, brand myself and give them a simple call to action or simply say I don’t think that we know each other and see if we can in fact build a connection.

  52. Bruce Bixler
    January 8, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    I pass this information on to new people in my networking groups when we teach them about LinkedIn and their profiles. It really gives them a heads up about conneting.

    Thank You.

  1. November 20, 2009 at 5:55 pm
  2. November 22, 2009 at 12:07 am
  3. December 2, 2009 at 10:10 am
  4. December 28, 2009 at 3:38 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: